Undo

Sigh.

Turn me around
pick me up
undo what I've become
bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace
I need you, I need your help
I can't do this myself

You're the only one
who can undo, what I've become.

When I stop relying on God I get SO whacked out that it hurts.
I'm going along great when I Abide in the Father, but as soon as I pull away. (cause God doesn't move, only I can move away from Him)
Things tend to get out of control, but He gently says come back to Me, and if I don't He'll eventually start tugging and that tends to hurt more but it gets my attention.

Tonight I had one of those moments when I left the Father and started to see what I could do on my own.
Didn't go so well (as always :) ) I started feeling attacked and let down, but God says He'll never let me down?
True, but that's when I'm fully in Him not when I branch out on my own (granted He's still there for me, But I can't be blessed by Him if I'm not abiding in Him fully)

So as I was having my little party (pity party that is). I was driving home, and a song by Rush of Fools came on the radio, called Undo, (above is the chorus of the song)
God spoke to me and I realized what I was doing, and He brought be back to Himself, but for the time I was on my own, that's exactly how I felt, on my own, alone.
until I let God work on my heart I was going to be alone cause I was focused on me not Him.

No one knows me better then my Creator, so He's the one that can bring me back to Himself.
Thanks be to God for His marvelous Grace!


turn me around, pick me up, undo what I've become.
God's I'm messed up! Help me please!

bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace.
Guide me back to You.

I need you, I need your help
I can't do this myself.
I'm helpless to get myself out of the mess I've made.

You're the only one
who can undo, what I've become.
Only You can bring me back to Yourself.

Lord help me to abide in You for everything and when I move away from You, help me to realize it and turn around and repent, so You can guide me back to Yourself, so that I can be used for You.

Carried

Here I am after a long absence from my blog.

Haven't had any time for one thing and I'm just to busy doing other things on the web to stop and just write.

but now that i have a moment I feel like writing something, yet I don't know what?

It always amazes me how God created us, and how He leads us on to what's best for us.
something just popped into my head a few days ago i forget when it was, either in Sunday school or just talking after bible study or something.

I was thinking about how God Never leaves us.

People will leave us and let us alone to die or in Paul's' case sit in prison.
But God will Never leave us or forsake us.

and that brought back a story i heard about a few years back.
I looked it up and found it so I wanted to share it.

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking
Along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene,
He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
He looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
There was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened
At the very lowest and saddest times in his life.


This really bothered him
And he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You,
You'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that
During the most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed
You most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
When you see only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

Leadership

What's it mean to be a "Leader"?

What's it take to do the job of a "Leader"?

How should one "Lead"?

These are questions I've been asking myself lately...
And the answers keep coming to me slowly as the Lord reveals them by insight of His word and by friends and people I greatly respect.

Do I always implement what I'm learning ...Nope! And I'll be the first to admit that if you asked me!
but I think that is part of Leadership, the ability to learn and to be flexible (but not in what God says! only in your attitude and how you react to things that happen)
They say that Life if 10% what happens to you and 90% Your reaction to it.

So in regard to myself being a Leader...I know I'm not qualified to Lead, I'm not a great speaker as Moses would say and I'm not Bold as some would think me to be.

But.
I don't have to be! :)
heh it sounds totally out there but I can be just the way I am (but willing to change and be molded by God to be better) and I can be able to Lead.

but the whole idea of me Leading is still a new thing for me, I don't want to be the "Big man on Campus", "The One and Only", "Large and in Charge".
I've always thought of those idea's as lame! but now I think they're just stupid!

If you're the only one, who are you "leading" if you're so puffed up with yourself who's gonna want to be around you???
I'm finding that Leadership, True Leadership is nothing that it's portrayed as.
I'm finding that to Lead you must become a servant.
and in wanting to serve the people I'm trying to Lead, I don't feel like I'm in some way Lowering myself or even Lowering myself knowing that's what I'm supposed to be doing, but I want to do it for those around me! and I can't explain why, other then the fact that it's all God in what I'm doing and that's enough for me to keep on doing what I feel is right.

And if I'm doing what I should be then people will want to follow and in that I'll be Leading not by my talents or by my words but by my actions and the way I put them (others) above myself.

None of this makes sense from a worldly point of view, but it feels right to me and it lines up with God's word so that's all I need!

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them.

"It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,
and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave;

just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

Matthew 20:25-28

Make Me a Servant Lord.
Not to be great among others.
But to make others greater by showing them You in my actions.
Amen.

An Unpublished Blog!

I was looking through my inbox and I came across a blog that I had written down while I was up one night, and just started typing like I sometimes do and I guess I never got around to actually putting it on here so I think I'll post it now :)
Enjoy.


This quote just came to my mind a little while ago

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity"

I sometimes get down and think that I don't really impact anyone!
And what I'm doing is for nothing and that no one really cares.

I think about the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" where Jimmy Stewarts' character wishes he'd never been born and he gets to see what life would be like without him. so many times we don't even think we do impact anyone but the smallest things we do can have the greatest impacts on people even without our knowing it.... I remember one evening I was at MC (Ministry Center) and we had finished up what we were doing, and I gave a hug to our Associate Pastor's wife like I always do (cause she's a totally awesome person!) but she was talking with someone else, so not thinking (And me being me) I gave her a hug too! I found out months later that, that night the lady I hugged (without thinking I was doing anything to out of the ordinary) was having a really difficult week and after I hugged her she said that she didn't even know that she needed a hug when I gave her one (I didn't even know either :) I just figured hey you're here I gave one to Sharon so I'll give one to you too) that hug made her day.... how was I supposed to know that? I was just being me and not thinking about how my actions were impacting her.
We do sooo many things like that, where we don't even know, and may not know till we're in heaven, what kind of impact it has/had on a person's life.

hmmm, what kind of impact are we making on others?
I dunno?
We may never know, but what I do know is that We DO makes an impact on everyone that we come into contact with and even people we don't come into contact with, but to think that we don't impact anyone is just another way for the devil to get us down and make us useless so we can't impact people.

So what kind of impact are we having on people...that depends on you.

Unique

Oh to be normal.
but wait, so many times I've heard it said (and I've said it myself many times before)

"Normal is boring"

So why would I want to be "Normal"

....That, I can not answer, cause even I don't know why it pops into my head sometimes.
but the fact is, the way I am is the way I am, And the way I am is the way God made me.

Unique.... I am one of a kind, extraordinary, without like or equal.

If you think of it that way it doesn't sound bad at all!
it's when you start using words like (Weird, Slow, Odd, and Freak) that things tend to get you down about yourself.
we always seem to focus on the negative side of things and not the positive, Why is that? (that's another blog in itself)

Yeah so there are things about me that I don't even understand sometimes (I wish I did, but I don't) but to think about those things as Unique traits in how I was made rather then putting them off as "Weird or Odd" makes it sound a whole lot better!

But what do we define "Normal" as???

The word Normal means: usual, average, and standard.

....What Average and who's Standard are we comparing ourselves to here?

If it's to God's Average and Standard, Hey! I want to be normal!!! Sign me up!

But....if it's to the World's, then I'll be weird, strange, odd, a freak!

God has made me the way I am for a reason. I may not know or understand that reason till He reveals it to me on earth or tells me why when I see Him at home.

But until that day, I am who I am because that's the way I was made and was made that way for a unique reason and purpose that "God has prepared for me, from before the foundation of the world."

So why would I want to be something different then what I am now?

I just get short sighted sometimes I guess.

....!

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x’s)
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Wow! Awesome Lyrics!
I don't know what God has willed or planned but whatever it is, it's gonna be what He wants for my life and that's what I want.

How Great is Your God?

Randomness that makes sense. (to me at least) :)

.....Wow.
Life is interesting, amazing, awesome, happy, sad, a bummer, a blessing, and sometimes it's just plan odd! heh heh

So why do I do the things I do?

That's a question that sometimes comes up in my mind, "Why?"

"It Please You"

I sometimes think of It's a Wonderful Life. Where George says "it'd be better if I'd never born"
but in the end he sees that he's made a difference in all of the things that he did over the course of his (what he thought to be useless) life.

how much influence am I having with my own life....I dunno?

God does though and that's enough for me.

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize?
Run in such a way that you may obtain it."